#111 "Doubting [Insert Your Name Here]"
September 4, 2007
"Then He said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." Thomas said to Him, "My Lord and my God!"" (John 20: 27-28)
For the last eight weeks, I had been waiting to go for a repeat ultrasound of the pelvis. On the last examination, something was found on my ovary. My doc wasn't so concerned, but she wanted the ultasound repeated in six to eight weeks. Needless to say this was just one more of the ways that my enemy picked up on right quick to pick at me for a month and a half. I've had my share of colds and flu and your normal, run of the mill illnesses. But this was different. This could be serious. I have heard my share of testimonies about going back for tests and miraculously the tests were negative. Tumors were gone. X-rays were clear. All to the glory of God. It had never happened to me, so I couldn't so much relate. I don't ever want you to think that I'm Susie Super Christian, so let me be very transparent and honest with you....I was scared. I confessed my healing Scriptures. I prayed. I believed. "Oh, Lord, help my unbelief!" I can relate to Thomas.
For whatever reason, he wasn't there when Jesus appeared to the other disciples. When he came back, they told him, "We have seen the Lord!" In the Greek, the translation of this word "seen" that I like is "to experience". They had "experienced" the Lord. There it is. It's so clear...I hope you see it with me. Those other disciples had an experience that Thomas didn't have and he couldn't believe. Just like me...others have experienced Christ as Healer and the author of the clear medical report. But I never have. I just kept confessing, praying and believing..."help my unbelief!"
What about you? Have others experienced Christ in a way that you never have? Have they had experiences in Him that you just can't relate to? You hear about checks arriving miraculously in the mail, bags of groceries on people's front porches, gifts from the Provider Himself. But you've never seen them. You, like me, have heard the healing stories, gifts from the Healer Himself. But again, you haven't seen it. You've seen families that were broken apart, healed and restored to wholeness. Children saved. Husbands or wives serving Christ. But you....well. You just can't believe it's for you, can you? Are you like Thomas saying, "Unless I see ... I will not believe it."
Thomas wasn't convinced. He wanted bodily, in the flesh proof. He wanted to see and touch Jesus for himself. I needed that personal touch from Christ. You may need that same touch in the circumstance that you're walking in today. Well, I've got good news for you. You are so important to God that He will come for just one. For you! Lift up your head, beloved. Don't sulk. Don't be discouraged and think that all those experiences you've heard about are for everyone else and not you. Jesus came back for Thomas. And He will come for you!
It took Jesus eight days to return. It may be eight hours, eight days, eight months....but He will show up and give you that personal touch and that personal experience. He wants you to know Him in a whole new way. And He wants that so badly that He will come back just for you. Jesus told Thomas, "Stop your unbelief." (Amplified Bible) "Don't be faithless any longer. Believe!" (The Message). Again, looking at the Greek meaning of "believe" because it's just so rich.....it means to have faith in a person. I love this part....to credit someone. Jesus is saying (my paraphrase)...."Give me some credit here." Thomas was just not going to believe anymore. He was hiding and running with the rest of them like escapees after the death of Jesus. He got hooked once and he wasn't going to get hooked into believing again. But seeing was believing! And see He did. Jesus showed him His hands and His side and Thomas bursts out a mighty declaration of faith, "My Lord and my God!" That's what the personal revelation of Jesus will do for you.
Can you just imagine Thomas....from doubt to belief in a New York second. Maybe somewhat ashamed of his unbelief, but it didn't matter anymore. Jesus was there. He was alive. Right in front of his eyes. I also imagine Jesus smiling at Thomas. "Silly, silly boy...why were you so afraid? Why didn't you trust Me? Now you see with your own eyes, so you believe, but "blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."" I don't know who is reading this right now, but that promise is for you. You may not see anything right now. You may not be able to see the forest for the trees. But you are blessed if you believe anyway!
Late Friday afternoon my doc called and said, "It's gone!" I replied, "What did you say?" She said, "It's gone!" The ultrasound was clear. Whatever the thing was on my ovary....it was gone! Doubting Donna said, "My Lord and my God!" Too bad for my first century brother who would coin the phrase "Doubting Thomas" for years to come. But who am I to cast stones? Can I tell you something, my friend? I can now say that Jesus is my Healer. I have learned throughout my life that He is my Provider. He is my Deliverer. He is my Strong Tower. He is my Refuge, my Fortress and my Strength. He is my Protector from my enemies. And so, so , much more. But I would know none of that if it weren't for the experiences and circumstances that I have endured. Let Him show you just who He is to you. Believe. Even if you can't see an inch in front of you. He is all that He claims to be. You will see it with your own eyes. And the experience is so much sweeter and more precious when it's your own experience, not someone elses. He'll make sure of that. He will come back and show you. Even if it's just you that needs showing. He loves you that much!
Donna Schultz
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