#211 "If I Perish, I Perish"

During my quiet time this morning, I was reminded of the day, almost six years ago, when I had my first confirmation from God that I would be called to a new avenue of ministry. At the time, I was heavily involved in doing Outreach Ministry on the east side of Detroit. Stirring on the inside of me was a divine discontent with what I was doing, but I fought it for a long, long time. Through a series of circumstances, some that weren't so swell, God finally had my attention. What I felt God was saying at the time seemed absurd. I thought I was making it up in my bleached blonde head. It wouldn't go away. It was there at all times. It was scary. I ignored.


God had to put me on the backside of a mountain, away from what I had given my time and gifting to for so long, in order to prepare me for what lie ahead. One day He spoke to me so loud and clear through the pages of Scripture that I needed to take off my shoes. I was standing on Holy Ground. It was scary. This time I could not ignore. 

I underlined. I circled. I wrote the date next to the word in my Bible. What God said to me from a burning bush changed the course of everything, and still drives me today. 

The road hasn't been easy. You have to crawl before you walk, and I've done my share of crawling,  trying to walk, falling, getting brushed off, and going again.  It's been an uphill climb. It's been scary. I've still struggled with the ignoring part. God always leads me back to the commission. To the "what He wants me to do." Little steps of faith have grown year after year into huge leaps. Has it been worth it? You betcha it has!

I want to do big things for God. Big things require prayer, sacrifice and faith that when you can't see an inch in front of you, you take a step anyway.

God has been opening doors for me lately that sometimes scare me to death. I know that it's God because I've done nothing to orchestrate them. They have required me to sacrifice some important things for a season. They have required me to fall on my knees and pray like never before. They have required me to step out in faith when I'm so sure there will be nothing under my feet and I will fall, fall, fall, until I come crashing down. 

Then He reminds me that Moses had to raise the staff in order to part the Red Sea.   

He reminds me that David had to release the stones from the sling in order to slay Goliath. 

He reminds me that Peter had to step out of the boat in order to walk on the water.

He reminds me that Esther had to go against all protocol of the Persian palace to get an audience with the king and save a nation.

The voice of Mordecai rings in my ears saying, "who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom for such a time as this?"

It can be scary. It can feel absurd. 

I will obey.
 
And if I perish, I perish.