I Won't Be Reading Your Blog Anymore

Dear sister blogger,

I won't be reading your blog anymore.

I have read, and watched, and pondered, and prayed. Prayed hard. For the last year or so, something hasn't been right. It's kind of been like eating something that had a generally good taste, but something in it just wasn't right. You know...you just can't put your finger on it?

So I continued to read. Watch. Ponder. Pray. Pray hard. Little by little the light began to shine. Call it spiritual discernment. Call it intuition. Call it Holy Ghost enlightening. Whatever it's called, I got it.

You could probably care less about me reading your blog. You have thousands of followers, tribes, and friends. One little ole me won't matter a hoot to you, and that's okay. But I feel the need to give you an explanation. I'm usually a cut and run kind of gal, but not this time. I feel that too much is at stake.

I started blogging eight years ago. At that time, people would say, "What's a blog"?

Enter Blogomania! 


According to Wikipedia, in 2011 there were over 156 million public blogs in existence.

What has followed, has become that "something's not right" taste in my mouth.

Sister blogger. Your readers are watching you. They are reading you. They want to be like you. They want to write like you. They copy your writing style. They start groups like you do. They admire, revere, imitate, and secretly envy you for your success. 

I've been there. I've done it. I secretly wanted to be Beth Moore for years. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus, for delivering me from that one! If He had wanted two of her, He would have made her twins.

Do you understand the immense responsibility that is on your shoulders when you hit that "PUBLISH" button every day? You have been given much, and much will be required of you.

I admire your attempts to let your readers know that they are not alone. Not alone in sickness, in dire financial straits, in the throws of diapers and bottles and messes made by little ones hanging on skirts all day, every day. Not alone in depression, marital struggles, sinful behavior, and workplace madness.

It helps to know that the feelings we have are not particular to our own sinful selves, but that many share those very same feelings. We need community. We need to know that we are not alone. But sometimes it seems that the blogs are doing their job in that regard, all the while leaving the most important thing hanging on the clothesline, flapping in the breeze.

The Blogosphere~The place where misery loves company.

It's an epidemic. 

One is feeling tired and overwhelmed, so she reads multiple times a day about being tired and overwhelmed. 

One is struggling financially, so she reads blog after blog about being in debt.

One is sick, so she reads blog after blog about pain.

Hey! Thank you for telling me that you're sick too. But please point me to the Healer.

Thank you for telling me that you're struggling financially, just like me. But please point me to the One who promises to supply all of my needs.

Thank you for telling me that you're tired too. Tired of bottles and diapers and messes, and meals and little ones hanging on skirts all day, every day. But please point me to the One Who says, "Come to ME and I will give you rest."

Point me to a Book. God-breathed. Living and active. Point me to my Bible, not another blog post.

When the housework is done. When the babes are napping. When the sun is going down and the house is quieting.

POINT. ME. TO. THAT. BOOK.   

Thank you for telling me that you struggle with anxiety and depression too. But please point me to the One who says that if I keep my mind staid on HIM, I will be kept in perfect peace.

Thank you for telling me that your marriage is a struggle some days. But please point me to the One who in His Word spells out the EXACT instructions for a healthy marriage.

Thank you for telling me that you sin. Just like me. But point me to the Cross. To the One who died for my sins and who has, will, and always does, deliver me and lift me out of pits, out of mud and mire. The One who sets my feet on solid, firm rock.

The ONE who I can't explain how He does it, but He does it! 

Because, sister blogger, someone hangs on your every word today. That's evident by the numbers in your stats. That's evident in your book sales. That's evident by the figures in your bank account.

They want the numbers. They want the book deals. They want the TV interviews. They want the growing bank accounts.

They want to be like you.

Oh! Please, sister blogger.

Tell them to want to be like Christ.

"Imitate God, since you are the children he loves." (Ephesians 5:1 GWT)

That's why I won't be reading your blog anymore. I will keep reading those blogging sisters who point me to Jesus. Those who have encouraged me, loved on me, made me laugh and cry, but always, always, always, pointed me to Jesus.  My only hope. The One who will take me out of my misery, not feed it. The One who speaks His love words to my heart anytime I need them through the pages of His Word.

So if you don't see me commenting anymore, you'll know.

You probably don't care.

But I won't be reading your blog anymore. 

 

Thus Far Has The Lord Helped Us

Last fall, we were seriously entertaining the thought of moving out of the place we've called HOME for the last 22 years.  One morning, the weather had become too cool to have my quiet time on the patio, so I was cozy in the back room of my house, window cracked, a blanket on my lap, looking out of the huge window that overlooks that patio. With the thought of not having another spring and summer to sit in my backyard during my quiet time, I began to weep. 

"We can make our plans, but the final outcome is in God's hands". (Proverbs 16:1 TLB)

As it turned out, we didn't move. God would have us be here, in this place, at this time. He has assigned us this portion and this cup for another season.

Fast forward a few months to this morning. As I arranged my journal and my Bible and my devotionals, I sat back with my hot cup of coffee, and wept again.

If I've ever doubted the faithfulness of my God, all I have to do is look around me, at this place, at this yard, on this patio. It has become my Ebenezer.

"Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, "Thus far has the LORD helped us." (1 Samuel 7:12)

 

This is my Ebenezer.

Here is my memorial.

Here do I see

"Thus far has the Lord helped us."

I don't need a journal to be reminded of the years I have spent here on this patio. There were days when I laughed out loud here. There were days when I cried out loud, afraid the neighbors would hear. 

I've prayed hard here. I've sobbed here. I've fought for my marriage here. I begged God for my children's lives here. I've prayed for wombs to be miraculously opened. I've implored God for babies to be okay. 

I've asked for guidance when I had no idea what to do. I've laid out fleeces before the Lord here. You know, "if you'll do this Lord, I'll know it's YOU." Ministry and service to God were birthed here. Ministry and service came to an end here. 

My knees have literally been on those bricks, promising to have no other gods before Him. I've met with Kelly Minter, Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer and Jennifer Rothschild here, as they led me deeper still through their knowledge of Scripture. I wrote parts of my book here.   

I mourned my grandson, Noah here. 

I prayed here when I was terrified. I prayed here when I was paralyzed with fear. I prayed here when I was hopeless, helpless and oh. so. weak.

I've prayed here for starving children in Africa, for villages full of people drinking mud instead of clean water, and eating dirt to squash hunger pains. I've prayed for Muslims in Yemen who just want to hear about Jesus. 

I've cried out for healing. I've screamed for deliverance. I've prayed for employment for my husband. I've begged for provision when there was none to be found. 

This place is sacred.

This patio is holy ground because God meets with me here. 

In twenty- two years, He has Never let me down. You heard me, Never!

If the Lord assigns this place to us for the next twenty two years,  I will continue to pray here. I will continue to laugh here. I will continue to cry here. 

I have pressing needs right now, but I will not despair.

This morning, the Lord was here. He came to remind me that He has never left me or forsaken me.

This morning, God, my God, hugged me with His faithfulness.

Ebenezer.

Thus far has the Lord helped me! 

Purpose In Our Pain

Israel's trials in the desert kept their attention on their Provider. Because the manna didn't last overnight, each new sunrise brought the need to look up to the God of Heaven for that new day's sustenance.

There is purpose in our adversity. There is purpose in our pain.

God wants to get our attention. He wants to keep our attention. He wants to remind us of His love. He wants us to know Him more intimately. He wants us to examine our ways.

When I say, sing, and pray, that I want to know Jesus more fully, more deeply, and more intimately, it would only follow that I must encounter Him somehow. I must encounter and go through some things, to give Him the opportunity to show Himself to me.

If I've ever prayed for that kind of closeness with God, my trials could actually be the answers to those prayers. How else would I know? I could only hear and read about Him, but I'd never EXPERIENCE Him. The wonder of Him. For myself. And because He is faithful, He will always show Himself and He is all good.

How could I know that He is a Provider, if I've never been in need?
How could I ever know that He is a Healer, if I've never been sick?
How could I ever know that He is my Strength, if I've never been weak?
How could I ever know that He is my comfort, if I've never mourned?

I must go through what He wants me to go through so that I can see Him clearly, trust Him deeply,  and be prepared for the inevitable trials of the future. I will remember His faithfulness today and be encouraged tomorrow.

I can only depend on God, if I have faith in God. Faith in His ability. Faith in His character. I must believe that God is Who He says that He is. I must believe that God can do what He says He can do.

And He says that He daily bears my burdens.
He says that He daily loads me with benefits.
He says that He is my Friend that sticks closer than a brother.
He is my Friend who supports me day after day after day.
My Friend is exceedingly, abundantly faithful, able, and competent to accomplish whatever concerns me today.

Do you know Him today, as that kind of Friend? 

Learning Your Lesson

I remember hearing these words when I was a child about to get punished. "Maybe this time you'll learn your lesson." I also remember the dreaded words that my father would speak when I asked how long my punishment (aka grounding) would last. "Until I say so". That could mean until the end of the week, until the end of the month, or until the end of time itself.

When I had children of my own, I'd like to think that I handled things in a kinder way when it came to discipline. I would ask, "And what lesson have we learned?" Why did I use the word "we"? Like I had a lesson to learn? Surely not! I was the know-it-all parent, saying those words in a condescending, sing-song tone of voice.

Discipline is hard. It's hard to receive it and it's hard to mete it out. It doesn't get any easier as we grow older. It does remain necessary, no matter our age, and it may show up disguised as hardship, trial, or adversity.

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children."  (Hebrews 12:7)

Did you know that God sees redemptive value in our trials? He accomplishes great spiritual work in our adversity. Just like Christ, on the cross, "who for the joy set before him [he] endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12: 2) For the JOY set before Him. Jesus suffered willingly, endured selflessly, even unto death on a cross, for a redemptive purpose. My redemption. Your redemption. 

What looked like a total defeat for the Kingdom of God on that day, a total set-back for the Heavenly team, was a set-up for the salvation of all who would later call on His Name to be saved. 

God is so much more concerned about your heart and your eternal destiny, than He is about your circumstance or your comfort. He wants to do a work in you. He wants to do a work in me. 

There has to be meaning in our trials and adversities, or it would just be cruelty, meted out by a cruel God, wanting us to suffer for suffering's sake. 

 "God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."   

(Hebrews 12: 10-11)

Take some time today and ask the Lord, "What changes are You trying to make in me? What lesson do You want me to learn? In what areas of my life will I grow through this trial? "

Then make those changes. Start making the right decisions and the right results will follow. That's the natural order of things. Right decisions produce right results. That's the God-order of things. He wants us to learn our lessons.

I don't know how long our trials will last. It may be until the end of the week, the end of the month, or until the end of time itself, but what I do know, is that they will produce holiness, righteousness, and peace, if you and I allow ourselves to be trained by them.